PANTHERQUEST 2013

[LaPorteAveApostle]

Yes, this was mentioned in the "look back/ahead", but this is gonna have to have its own thread.

Introducing PANTHERQUEST 2013:  The Quest To Be the Worst Team In Horizon League History.  Throughout the conference season we'll all be watching to find whether or not Milwaukee can at least be the best—at being the worst.  You may have thought Loyola was absolutely wretched last year (and they were), but at least they won a game amidst the 17 beatings they absorbed.  No, to be truly the worst, Milwaukee has to lose ALL their games just to tie 2003-04 Cleveland State (0-16). 

The Horizon League has also never had a team with RPI below 2004-05 Youngstown St (321 out of 327, or 1.8 percentile).  Milwaukee is 330/345, or 4.3 percentile—losing out would leave them 340/345, or 1.4% (RealTimeRPI says they are 335 now...). 

Third: in conference play, 2004-05 YSU was outscored by 13.2 ppg; RPI Forecast has UWM on track to be outscored by 13.0 ppg.  Can they pull off the Pu Pu Platter, the Trifecta of Awful?

We shall see...ladies and gentlemen, your 2013 HL UWM PANTHERS!

As of 1/1/13
Record:  0-0
RPI:  330
Scoring margin: 0
NEXT GAME: @ DET
CHANCE OF WINNING: 3%
MARGIN:  21.6
Thing they are like:  A great big rock teetering precariously on the precipice of a mountain.  The mountain's name is Mt. Awfuldom.


No, wait.  A one-legged hobbit about to march into Mordor with a butter knife and a disturbingly untreated sore.

...

(man, google images.  you never failed me before.)

[LaPorteAveApostle]

GAME THE FIRST:  PANTHERS 59, @ DETROIT 74.

It looked good when:  Tied at 40 with under 16 to play!  On the road!  Against a Tournament Team! And stuff!
But then:  A 26-6 Detroit run restored the equilibrium of the cosmos.
Jordan Aaron:  39 minutes, 17 shots, 9 points.  Oh, and 6 TOs!  (^wah-_-wah)
#PaulOrentheOptimist:  Hey!  15 offensive rebounds!  There's something to hang your hat on.
#PaulOrentheRealist:  You make plenty of OR opportunities when you shoot like caca.
#PaulOrenthePessimist:  I don't see this whole "Fiscal Cliff" thing ending well at all.

As of 1/4/13
Record: 0-1 (2004 CSU 0-16)
(realtime)RPI: 335/347 (bottom 3.4%) (2005 YSU 1.8%)
Avg scoring margin: -15 (2005 YSU 13.2 ppg)
NEXT GAME: @ WSU
CHANCE OF WINNING: 4%
MARGIN:  19.5 pts
THING THEY ARE LIKE:  Said rock, beginning to stir.


MEANWHILE IN MORDOR:  The little hobbit, bravely licking his wounds from the orc arrows, trots off down the slope, knife in hand.  It was unkind of Orc Jr. to jump over him there at the end, taunting him and spray-painting the area code for Utumno all over the place, he thought.

[bbtds]

Panthers lead WSU by 5 at half.

[HC]

They lost by 2. Too bad, I don't care for WSU

[bbtds]

It was a heck of a finish for the Raiders. They hit some very important threes at the end of the game. The Panthers had a chance to tie it but the shot was just short. Milwaukee lead most of the game but WSU pulled it out of the fire when it counted most.

[Big D]

They lost by 2. Too bad, I don't care for WSU

 

[LaPorteAveApostle]

GAME THE SECOND:  PANTHERS 51, @ WSU 53.

It looked good when:  Up 5 at the half!  On the road!  Up 3 with under 3 to play!
But then:  A 7-2 WSU run to end the game.
Jordan Aaron:  39 minutes, 15 shots, 12 points.  But only 5 TOs this time!  Oh...and missed the potential game-tying basket with 1 second left too...(^wah-wah-_wah)
Jordan Aaron #HLPOY2013:  39 mpg, 16 shots/gm producing 10.5 ppg, 5.5 TO/gm. 3-17 from downtown!!! #winning

[For the record, Rowdy averaging 16 shots a game would produce approx. 24.3 ppg.  He may beat out Aaron yet.]

#PaulOrentheOptimist:  This was an amazing showing for a struggling team in a tough environment.
#PaulOrentheRealist:  You still lost, suckaz.
#PaulOrenthePessimist:  I mean, all Congress did was kick the can down the road two months, right?

As of 1/4/13
Record: 0-2 (2004 CSU 0-16)
(realtime)RPI: 332/347 (bottom 4.3%) (2005 YSU 1.8%)
Avg scoring margin: -9.5 (2005 YSU 13.2 ppg)
NEXT GAME: vs Valpo
CHANCE OF WINNING: 13%
MARGIN:  12.7 pts
THING THEY ARE LIKE:  Said rock...but beginning to gather moss instead of rolling?!?

MEANWHILE IN MORDOR:  The little hobbit, having shaken off the tauntings of Rayson of Ray, sprinted ahead down the opening path.  It appeared so clearly before him now, his way to the inevitable climax of victory.  Everything he had suffered to this point, from the Battle of the Firth of Drengist, to the 34-point embarrassment versus DePaul, suddenly made sense.  It was all to lead him here, where finally...

He never saw the pebble rise up out of the dust to trip him at the last second.

I will reconsider my end-of-game options, he thought bitterly, spitting gravel from his teeth.

[covufan]

I predict this thread will end, probably on 17 January.  I also predict that UWM will end up with two or three wins - hoping that one of them won't be against VU.

[LaPorteAveApostle]

Well, that is their only chance better than 25% (44%), according to RPIForecast.

http://www.rpiforecast.com/teams/Wisconsin%20Milwaukee.html

RealTimeRPI thinks they might pull out 3 conf. wins; RPIForecast thinks 2.

But that makes them just awful.  I'm pulling for HISTORICALLY AWFUL.  Which of the two would you rather be?

[LaPorteAveApostle]

GAME THE THIRD:  @ PANTHERS 52, ARAGORN SON OF ARATHORN 76.

It looked good when:  Ryan Broekhoff considered attending college at home in Australia.
But then:  He came to America after all.
Jordan Aaron:  [only] 32 minutes, 12 shots, 10 points.  And only 2 TOs this time! 
Jordan Aaron #HLPOY2013:  36.7 mpg, 13.3 shots/gm producing only 10.3 ppg, 4.3 TO/gm.
{marv albert voice} 5 of 23 from downtown!!! #TigerBlood

(Broekhoff's last 23 3-pt:  14 makes)

#PaulOrentheOptimist:  At least you're gaining experience!
#PaulOrentheRealist:  Except that 4 of today's 7-man rotation gonna "graduate".
#PaulOrenthePessimist:  Andy Geiger was brought here to slowly drop the basketball program.  #sofarsogood

As of 1/12/13
Record: 0-3 (2004 CSU 0-16)
(realtime)RPI: 321/347 (bottom 7.5%) (2005 YSU 1.8%)
Avg scoring margin: -14.3 (2005 YSU 13.2 ppg)
NEXT GAME: vs CSU
CHANCE OF WINNING: 47%!!!  By far their best shot the whole rest of the way.
MARGIN:  1 pt
THING THEY ARE LIKE:  Said rock, smaller and in full tumble...hoping to grow Chia-Rocklike moss after we burned what little they had off of them, leaving them balder than Bogan son of Bill.


MEANWHILE IN MORDOR:  The little hobbit, bleeding profusely, politely asked a passer-by the name of the truck that had just wrecked his life.  "That was no truck, sir," the orc replied, "but BROEKUS the URUK-HAI!  For every arrow he looses, two hit the mark!"

[agibson]

Looks like UWM's RPI got a boost with the loss. Valpo's took a hit with the win.

[LaPorteAveApostle]

Not nearly as much as what would have happened had the result been reversed...

[LaPorteAveApostle]

The little hobbit's shoulders sagged.  He would take every beating from Mt. Doom back to the border of Mordor (hey that rhymes! he thought), surely, but right now he didn't care.  His quest:

finally at an end.

Although Jordan Aaron still sucks.

[vu72]

We jumped up to 76 in the Sagarin's while Detroit moved up slightly to 93.

[a3uge]

http://espn.go.com/ncb/playbyplay?gameId=330230082&period=2

Is this game real life? This is the most bizarre looking play-by-play I've ever seen. This is just me reading the play-by-play:

Halftime: UWM 42 UIC 25. Okay a 17 point lead. Pretty solid lead.
19:10: UWM 44 UIC 25. 19 point lead in the second half. Pretty solid chance of winning.
13:54: UWM 46 UIC 31 (first media timeout). Okay still a 15 point lead, still pretty solid.
11:18: UWM 46 UIC 40 (second media timeout). Wow, that escalated quickly.
9:39: UWM 50 UIC 41. A 9 point lead with under 10 to play... still a pretty solid lead.
7:14: UWM 50 UIC 44. Both teams have only scored 4 points a piece in last 4 minutes.
5:39: UWM 50 UIC 49. UIC pulls within 1 point, UWM calls a timeout, knowing they're in trouble of losing a 19 point lead.
3:59: UWM 50 UIC 49 (fourth media timeout). Bit of a scoring drought for both teams.
1:35: UWM 50 UIC 52. UIC takes the lead on a 3 pointer, breaking a 4 minute scoring drought by both teams.
0:37: UWM 50 UIC 54. UIC takes a two possession lead.
0:00: UWM 50 UIC 60. UIC wins by double digits.

HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?

So UWM manages to go the last 9:39 without scoring, at which point it was a 9 point game and it took until 95 seconds left for UIC to take the lead. Unreal.

[LaPorteAveApostle]

11:18: UWM 46 UIC 40 (second media timeout). Wow, that escalated quickly.

This is an amazing post.  Really put it in perspective, and made me think of


Hayden Humes: Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast.
Josh Crittle: It jumped up a notch.
Hayden Humes: It did, didn't it?
Gary Talton: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart.
Hayden Humes: I saw that. Gary killed Jordan Aaron. Did you throw a trident?
Gary Talton: Yeah, there were panthers, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.
Hayden Humes: Gary, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.

[bbtds]

Milwaukee 2nd half stats

Haarsma   2 fouls, 1 turnover, no shots

Panoske   0-1 3pt, 2-2 FT, 1 foul, 0 turnovers

Aaron       0-1 2pt, 0-5 3pt, 3 fouls, 4 turnovers

Gulley       1 asst, 2-5 2pt, 0-5 3pt, 1 foul, 1 turnover

Harris       1-2 2pt, 0-1 FT, 1 foul, 2 turnovers

Arians       0-4 3pt, 2 fouls, 1 turnover

Haggerty  0-2 3pt, 1 foul

Milwaukee team totals in 2nd half= 1 asst, 3-8 2pt, 0-17 3pt, 2-3 FT, 11 fouls, 9 turnovers

0 for 17 from three is pretty awful for a half. For the whole game the Panthers shot 8 for 35 from three. 8 for 18 from three in the first half wasn't bad. You gotta wonder what happened in the 2nd half.

[KL31NY]

11:18: UWM 46 UIC 40 (second media timeout). Wow, that escalated quickly.

This is an amazing post.  Really put it in perspective, and made me think of


Hayden Humes: Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast.
Josh Crittle: It jumped up a notch.
Hayden Humes: It did, didn't it?
Gary Talton: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart.
Hayden Humes: I saw that. Gary killed Jordan Aaron. Did you throw a trident?
Gary Talton: Yeah, there were panthers, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.
Hayden Humes: Gary, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.

I'm proud of you guys. You all kept your head on a swivel and that's what you gotta do when your in a vicious cockfight

[LaPorteAveApostle]

I'm proud of you guys. You all kept your head on a swivel and that's what you gotta do when your in a vicious cockfight

I'm literally laughing right now.  Thank you.  I should have kept going--thank you for being the UIC second half to my Milwaukee first

[LaPorteAveApostle]

It's funny, because I was JUST thinking that after a night like tonight I SO wish that this thread were still running (i.e. that Milwaukee hadn't pulled out a win because this was just too much fun)



Maybe we can turn this into the JORDAN AARON WATCH instead.  HEY do HIM for PER.  For a "mendoza-line"-type base

[valpo04]

It's funny, because I was JUST thinking that after a night like tonight I SO wish that this thread were still running (i.e. that Milwaukee hadn't pulled out a win because this was just too much fun)



Maybe we can turn this into the JORDAN AARON WATCH instead.  HEY do HIM for PER.  For a "mendoza-line"-type base

A little late to the party, but here's my contribution:

[Valpo89]

Milwaukee 2nd half stats
For the whole game the Panthers shot 8 for 35 from three. 8 for 18 from three in the first half wasn't bad. You gotta wonder what happened in the 2nd half.

Milwaukee has a lot of 3-point shooters. They just don't have many 3-point makers.
(Basketball phraseology provided by former Valpo High coach Bob Punter).

[bbtds]

Milwaukee is down 1 at halftime 28-27. The Panthers are shooting a lot better than at the Pavillion in Chicago. If the Panthers can come away with the win and keep Green Bay winless on the road that can't be bad for Valpo.

Jordan Aaron has 14 points, 3 of 4 from two and 2 of 4 from three.

[LaPorteAveApostle]

I'm sure he was having a good game at halftime last time.

[HC]

GB wins by 20